On this episode, Kattie and Allan sit down with their 8 year old daughter Zara. They discuss why she wants to be baptized, why she wants Allan to perform the baptism, and mostly gives one word answers….which is understandable for an 8 year old!
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Wow, so eerie to listen to. It just absolutely confirmed for me why I think it is so peer pressured and persuasive and ‘Taken as Granted’ and rather forced, that our 8 year olds baptize. They have no idea why they do it, except because ‘everyone is doing it’ and they know very little beyond that. One could actually HEAR one parent almost barely aware of this cultural pressure as if it were OKAY, and the other parent just knowing as I do, that it is creepy and NOT okay. That interplay is evident, thick. I had to have my TBM Father do the last several ordinances of my four children as I pulled out of that utter indoctrination BS, while my TBM wife just took them thru what can only be said as, ‘the motions’ that they don’t even realize they did, until later…. if ever…. (Well, my oldest is out, on his own, just quietly went away , his way ) So sad and hard to listen to, and yet, I get it, but I hate it. I tell my TBM wife of our mixed faith marriage, all the time, that: ” I feel absolute shame and remorse and guilt, that I ever took our four thru ‘The Motions’ and introduced them to this all” And she’ll reply, “I disagree, I see it differently” And that’s were we are after 29 years of marriage. We’ve just left it there , and boost up the other areas of our lives together, for now. So, rather incomplete in some ways, but it works 90% of time for now. Our 9/10, 90% marriage, per se. ?!?! FWIW
I feel you JL. I agree that 8 years old is much too young for this “decision.” You could hear it in my daughters voice. She’s just “going with the flow.” I’ve seen that my kids are not on a path of thinking that I, their father, am less than for my beliefs. I see quite the opposite. I see them rejecting the church narrative of what it means to believe differently. So these milestones, baptism included, don’t look like a threat to me anymore. I purposely agree to perform the ordinance, and put the church in position to tell me I can’t do it. My kids aren’t going to see me as the one saying no. It’ll be the church that rejects me. And they’ll understand why. Up to this point, they don’t agree with the church’s decisions in regards to my participation in these ordinances.
Allan